I have a serious problem

The first step is admitting, they say. So here I am, admitting, that I am a shopaholic.
There must be some application for shopaholics, like the Internet nannies that keep kids away from pornographic sites. I need a program that will keep me away from eBay, etsy, BlueFly, etc.!

Or something like this would happen:


When the package arrives, I'll be very, very happy for a short while.

Wouldn't you? When you see this and it's all yours?

Then a few minutes later, I just start hyperventilating. Panicking about where I should hide it! Panicking about going bankrupt! "OH GOD OH GOD I JUST PROMISED MY BOYFRIEND I WOULDN'T BUY ANYTHING THIS MONTH! Did I really need that Slanket?! DID I? OH GOD. I'm going bankrupt! I'm going to have to beg in the streets! OH GOD. I won't be able to eat Godiva chocolates anymore. OHMYGOD." And a million more OHMYGOD's.

So here I am proposing that I will not go shopping until I've worn everything in my closet. And you, yes, you will help me make sure I don't go shopping. I promise to be honest and tell you everytime I give in and buy something, but you have to promise to give me that look of disapproval, complete with head-shaking. Ok? Deal? Deal!

Fuck. My card won't go through. I just need this weight watchers cookbook. I promise, this will be the last purchase of the month! I promise!